Tracy.... where did you go?
Wow - who knew that taking on the not-so-new job would take my happy little world... crumple it into a ball... and toss it in the trash? Certainly not me. I have totally lost myself. I'm cut off from my altered art group, I can't get anything done that needs daytime hours, my business is going down the drain, my hair is in dire need of a stylist but she keeps the same hours I do so I'm screwed, I have not seen my friends in weeks, I'm too tired to go to my other job, I never cook anymore and worst of all, I have not created a single piece of art since I got hired. I hate having to cram my 'to do' list, family and friends into a 48 hour time slot - because trust me, it all doesn't happen. I have to tell you, I hate money. I've sold my soul to the workplace, so I can 'live'. Ya right - what living? I want my life back.
3 comments:
I have a dear friend, who reminds me often to do one thing when I am in your shoes, she'll say "Just do the next Right Thing". That can be stopping to admire a view for 30 seconds, making a cup of tea and actually sitting to wait for the kettle to boil, or perhaps taking a moment to write down three things for which I am grateful today. I always think that I can't "waste time" doing any of these things, but they are what keeps me sane when I think I have no time to spend on "non-work" things. The next right thing can also be making a list, feeding the cats, or tossing in a load of wash. Just whatever is right in front of me. things get done without me fretting about how to get it all done.
I find that when I get too far away from the things that matter to most to me, Life has a way of MAKING the time I need. Usually this involves being ill or hurt. Take the time you need to feed your soul before the Universe does it for you. I don't know if this is an issue for you, but learning to say "No" was huge for me- no to that last minute get-together, no to answering the door or the phone when it's not convenient for me, just NO to the things that I could really live without, for TODAY.
I'm so glad that you posted this week. I have been reading your blog since I found you about six months ago. You are one of the artists that led me to ETSY, and to open my shop there. As the saying goes, "this (time) too will pass" and you will be able to integrate all that you do more easily.
Thanks for all you do!
Take care,
~tracyw
www.summersea.etsy.com
ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh....
I read this post and felt like you had crawled inside my head... into my day... right into my life!
Everything you said in this post is EXACTLY what I have been living and feeling since beginning my job this past September.
After years of being an "at home" mom, I now find I almost don't recognize me! All the ways I've happily defined myself for years and years and years (artist, mom to little ones, long distance runner, etc) feel like they are fading into the background as I fit these 40 hours of work into my week.
Your blog has been an unexpected and much appreciated GIFT tonight. The thought that someone else understands these feelings/this situation is overwhelmingingly comforting. Thank you.
"Just do the next right thing" will be my new motto.
Wishing you all the best...
Gail
Hi gals - thanks for the comments. It's good to know we don't feel alone!
Tracy (who's also a Tracy W, lol)
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