Black Listed

Wow - what a day! Most of my yahoo groups allow comms (commercials/advertisements) on Sundays. I thought I had them sorted into folders of who allows and who doesn't but apparently I got 2 in the yes folder that didn't belong and my comm for my necklaces that I made, for sale, got in there. Holy smokes what a mess I caused. Apparently I offended everyone on the damn internet with my paris poesy necklaces for sale as a great Mother's Day gift. I got all kinds of hate mail today in response, can you believe it? One of the group leaders really had her panties in a twist and deleted me from a group that I didn't even post my comm in. Why? Because someone was looking for beeswax collage irons and I posted I had them, and offered free shipping for the members. Well - that offering got me kicked out and I've been told my web-store has been black listed!
Thanks a bunch gals.

So how do you spend your time these days?

I am so tired of being asked what I do, since closing my store. Like that defined me and without it I have no worth because I don't 'work outside the home' now. People (family included) constantly ask me to list my daily tasks for them - what?- I don't ask you what you do all day long. When I closed the store (studio) everyone was so suportive of me to pursue my art as a career, well now that I am they have lost all respect for me I guess, because now that I have all this "free time", I apprently don't do anything all day now, except "play". So for those of you keeping score of my tasks... here is how I spent the past 2 days:
Friday
7am-put finishing touches on art for the juried art sale that will run all summer
8am-hopped in the shower to get ready for the day
9am-went to have my art evaluated by the jury committee (I made it in)
10:30am-drove Pat to work then drove up the coast to Newport to buy more papers and collage stuff
12:30pm-wandered around the nursery at Walmart deciding wether to buy plants for the front door or not (decided not to do it yet - will wait for the day I have time to replant them)
2:30pm-stopped off at some beaches on the way home for inspiration and to enjoy the day
5pm-replied to emails including writing 2 tutorials (I really need to work on my tutorial downloads for the future)
7:30pm-puttered around doing house stuff because a fairy doesn't dosn't fly in in and do the cleaning for me
9pm-made dinner 9:30pm-picked up hubby frome work-worked on collages
10pm-watched Pride & Predjuduce on dvd
12:30am-went to bed
Saturday
10:30am-had coffee with my husband & drove him to work
11am-went to post office
11:30am-went to work at my 'out of home job' (every Saturday) doing office work for an artist
3pm-returned home to do my own office work because I can't afford to hire someone and it doesn't do itself. (retrieved online orders, filled the order, packaged them for mailing, printed postage and put them in Monday's mail bucket)
5:30pm-layed down with a major migrane
7pm-made dinner (2 days in row - wow!)
7:30pm-made a game plan for new art to submit to a nationwide catalog
8:15pm-worked on my business plan
9pm-wrote up orders for new product
9:30pm-picked up hubby from work
10pm-dinner and movie on HBO
12:30am-went to bed
1:45am-couldn't sleep so I got up and worked on some emails and worked on my site
2:30am-downloaded pics off camera of latest art work and started to crop
3:30am-madey myself go back to bed
OK, so there you have it. All the little details that I didn't bother to 'clock' like feed the cats & turtle, answer phone calls, wash dishes, water plants, deal with family issues, deal with leacky plumbing, grocery shopping, etc are in there too. I'm hardly a slacker. Yes, I look forward to my 'jammie days' when I can stay in my jammies all day long and watch a good movie on tv, do whatever I want or don't want, but I'm lucky if I get that once a week, like everyone else. I work from home, but the keyword is work. I'm not 'plyaing' all day like some people think. I'm not sitting here eating bon bons while someone is fannying me.
I didn't have to justify that question with response, but I am in hopes of elimnating some doubt and being asked that over and over again. At the very least, it releases my fustrations to write it out.

Sing Your Sweet Song

Today's collage filled a dual duty... it's one of the pieces I'm entering in an upcoming small format art show called "looking at the small picture" AND good ol' art therapy. I'm still into the bird theme. This gal is wearing a glittery crown to help be belt out her song. It held off the tears for as long as I was working on it. Mission accomplished.

Once again I put my trust into my 'family' and got screwed. Nothing feels as empty and sad as being rejected from the 'new' family. I'm so sick of it. I just can't take that kind of heart ache anymore. I've given everything I can give and it's never good enough. I'm tapped out.

So what am I left with? Time I was going to devote to my son is not wanted or needed. I guess I'll find a 'real' job now, since my art has proven to be nothing more than a hobby anyway. I sound full of self pitty & pathetic but I don't care - maybe if I can cry it all out, it won't come back.

Is there a limit to happiness?

Is there a limit on how many happy days you can have in a row? I guess I reached mine. I was settling into the peace of closing my studio, enjoying working on my artwork, overcoming my fears and putting my work into shows, having fun seeing it get some press.... and then BAM!!!

Vultures swoop in, without just cause, to try to kill it. As I wipe away the tears from crying for 2 days, after taking the benadryl to calm down my hives, after seeking proper legal representation, I am trying to calm down. I'm trying to over-come. I'm trying to remember not to believe every word out every asshole's mouth - that I have people in my corner too.

You know who you are, Montana Monsters - I know you have found this blog. I've done nothing wrong, I've comitted no crime, the propper authorites are aware, and you aren't going to ruin me, or impose on me your screw-ups that are perhaps haunting you, which is probably why you are looking for a quick buck. Thank God I didn't take on your business name. It's mud and I had nothing short of a year of debt collectors looking for you, my first year in business. Perhaps they have caught up with you and that's why are intruding on my space. Leave me alone. Just leave me alone!