paralyzed

It's Sunday - my true day off - nobody is home - I have the car - I am totally free to do as I please. I want to go the beach, but I'm still here. I want to work on my art, but I'm not. I want to go clean my studio from the mess I left last night, but I'm online. I want to go do my hair - but it sits like a little brown helmet upon my head. I want to go get groceries and make some delicious food for the week - BUT I AM PARALYZED. Unable to move, leave, motivate myself. I wait all week for Sundays, so I can do all the things I want to do, instead of being at work, but when it comes down to it - I feel depressed on Sundays. I'm thinking back and sure enough, every week this is the same thing. I have grand plans to wake up and enjoy a leisurely coffee, do a quick tidy of the house, plan meals for the week and then head to the beach. All week long, that's my plan. When Sunday actually comes, I am lucky if I manage the coffee part, and then boom - I shut down, like a heavy weight that makes me sink to the bottom of a pond. It's almost 4:30, I just got dressed, it's sunny out, someone - please, push me out the door and point me in the direction of the beach.